Lessons Learned in Building Connection & Community in 2023
After a four year hiatus from connecting with anyone outside my 12 person safety circle, I decided after numerous nudges from the Universe that 2023 was going to be my year of COMMUNITY.
As it was, expanding and reconnecting with people old and new was also the only way for me to have any hope of achieving our law firm revenue goals in 2023, in addition to all tasks as Managing Partner and COO, including on-boarding new employees, handling our firm’s first tax season, and lifting the operations of the firm in our second year of business.
My Why for Doubling Down on Community
Regardless of the external forces pushing me to rejoin the land of the living, I felt deeply and personally compelled to seek out folks and a new network so that I didn’t feel so very alone. Being an entrepreneur is a lonely game and being a forward-thinking entrepreneur in a small business conditioned by old school networking approaches is another level of loneliness. Add to that the terrifying experience of nearly losing my mom to an end stage disease in 2022, and I started 2023 committed to finding supportive, expansive people more than ever. Life it too short.
Top Four Networking Lessons Learned
What I learned in stepping outside my comfort zone and my safety circle was that networking now is a whole new ball game, filled with lots of Zoom connection and coffee calls. I also learned that building super strong connections within the same company, where you share a common nexus of a project, an objective, or even the same knowledge of the people, requires far less time and energy than building genuine connection with folks completely outside your day-to-day work.
While I may have known intuitively that intercompany relationships would be different from building a network outside of the company and the legal industry, I wasn’t fully prepared for what building my own re-invigorated community would actually entail. So to spare you some of my lessons learned, below are my takeaways in connecting with new people and incredible communities in 2023.
You get what you pay for. There’s a lot of people saying “get in the room” based on the faulty assumption that the simple act of being in rooms with elevated or ambitious people will automatically elevate you. My controversial take on this is that you actually get what you pay for when it comes to community and depth of connection. If the investment in the event is de minimus, the quality of connection and time devoted to building true, not superficial, connection is often lower than higher investment and smaller, more intimate events.
Get out of your industry - there’s a whole new world outside your lane. This was HUGE for me in 2023. My past networking efforts were focused exclusively within the legal industry with people with the same or similar title as me. In the past 15 years of my career, I sought to learn from others who were doing the same work as me. However in 2023 I threw that out the window to EXPAND beyond the legal industry and it was game-changing. To learn about strategies, approaches, and tactics utilized by industries far more progressive, adaptable, and profitable than legal and law firms was amazing. I learned so much more than I would have had I stuck with Bar events and communities.
Some folks will react to new networking through the lens of their own insecurities. I’ve come to understand that some folks are committed to misunderstanding me and this is true for networking and building relationships with new people. In 2023, there was a weird time when I was making new connections that a few legacy connections reacted negatively to my expansion, as though new people were somehow taking away from my current work and relationships (scarcity mindset at work). The opposite was of course true - it was opening new avenues and expanding business opportunities immensely - but there was an adjustment period where others struggled to see how they fit. It took me realizing that their reaction was simply their fear and insecurities talking that I was able to bless and release their concerns and comments as not about me.
Not all new connections will be your business BFF. This one’s obvious but also a good reminder because when you spend money to be in community with other cool folks, it’s hard to not have the expectation that new work and business will ultimately flow from it. Building deep and genuine connections takes time and it’s helpful to reset expectations for any immediate gratification from the expanded network.
Building new professional connections takes important time, money, and energy. Anyone who’s ever taken a colleague out for happy hour knows this. But expanding your network, building your influence, and creating lasting relationships that support you and your business also requires new approaches to keep growing and expanding.
If this post resonated, share it with a friend who is looking to expand or grow their network in 2024. And join our newsletter for important updates on upcoming events within the Executive Unschool community this year.
