Untangling Worth & Work
Understanding the Link Between Happiness & Wellbeing at Work
Studies have repeatedly shown that there is an intertwined relationship between happiness and how people feel at work. Researchers have also uncovered that individuals who anchor their self-worth solely to their careers often experience profound discontentment. Arthur Brooks talked about his in his book with Oprah, and he called the experience of tying worth to work as “objectification.”
Objectifying ourselves and others through the lens of our contributions in the workplace diminishes our inherent self-worth and unnecessarily sets us up to feel “worthless” when work changes, there’s a layoff, or different skills are now valued. For leaders of teams, it also leads to sentiments that everyone is replaceable and people at different organizational levels are not valued the same as say the executives.
Throughout the past five years, my journey has been an active exercise to drop the misconception that my worth is exclusively in my contributions at work. I had to hit rock bottom a few times all because my work changed or others’ opinions about it changed for me to wake up and realize that nothing inside me changed at all.
My integrity, character, skills, and outstanding contributions - regardless of how others characterize them now - are intact. I had to let go of the story I was telling myself that I was only worthy when I was working like others in order to find myself and my authentic leadership.
Breaking Free of Worth in a Professional Identity
We’re all working and living in a new modern society with tech and remote work and computers and screens dominating our lives. This wasn’t the case even 10 to 20 years ago. If we base our on entire worth on work, we might be sorely let down, thinking we are now worthless because we can’t code AI or face obstacles building a positive work culture in remote environments.
However, the recent de-valuing some key leadership attributes such as effective communication, being a team player, an excellent culture makers, high integrity and more over new tactical skills in tech and software, for example, says nothing about you and your abilities and worth. It simply says that the work world has and will continue to change.
Further, others - such as managers, colleagues, and partners - are entirely self-motivated. Their opinions and beliefs about your work and what you do are based on their own agreements about work and also what they have to gain from you.
Many folks have had the very surreal experience to have their blood, sweat, and tears in work be praised and exalted at length in conversations, emails, and reviews, only to have it disparaged because that now serves a new self-interest to do so. Others’ opinions of you and your work will change, maybe not to that degree, but if you build your value and worth in others’ valuation of it, you’ll find how you feel great one moment and terrible the next.
While work serves as a means of financial wellbeing it does not actually say anything about our intrinsic value as a human being. While outdated societal norms often equate success with professional achievements alone, there’s so much more to happiness and wellbeing (and science and research has backed this) than labels and achievements.
What Does It Mean to Embrace Inherent Worthiness?
Instead, building unwavering certainty in our inherent value is the path to peace. We have no control over the external fluctuations of opinions and beliefs about us and our work. By taking it personal we only allow others to steal the peace, presence, and happiness we can feel if only we focus on ourselves.
Those who prioritize holistic wellbeing over their professional identities tend to experience greater overall satisfaction and health, both inside and outside of the workplace.
However, the journey of untethering self-worth from a career is not without its challenges. It requires a conscious effort to oppose internal ingrained beliefs and societal expectations, and to cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance. Others will try to influence us in many ways and there are very practical challenges, such as job layoffs or termination, that can, if you let it, tell a story that you aren’t good enough.
And yet the rewards of working to build greater inherent self-worth, wholly separate from titles, roles, and accolades, are immeasurable. By recognizing and cultivating inherent worthiness, independent of our professional achievements, we open ourselves up to a life of greater authenticity, fulfillment, and joy.
So here is an unschool’d reminder: we are all more than our jobs, our titles, or our accomplishments. We are complex, multifaceted beings, deserving of love and respect simply because we exist.
