A (Love?) Letter to the Practice of Law
It is a wonder I found you at all, dear practice of law, because I certainly never saw myself as a lawyer when I was a little girl. I wanted to be a helper - a teacher or a librarian or best yet - a writer. But my achievement brain took over in college when I felt my print journalism and poli sci majors wouldn’t pay more than minimum wage. Or so I was led to believe.
The Leap to the Business of Law
And so there I was hating math and Econ which was required for my initial major of Human Resources and I took a quiz so that I could be helped by my “gifts” and lawyer came up. The “stability” of the profession checked out, as did the actual work of reading and writing as core strengths in the practice of law.
So I leapt in. Law school was something folks would respect. It was going to be my ticket to the good life.
However, the law degree really oversold and underdelivered at the outset. What I actually got was six figure debt and zero job prospects in December 2009 (thanks Great Recession).
It was gut wrenching job prospects. Until I got a call about a contract writing job at Thomson Reuters, making $61,000 annually. At least it was something, I told myself. The practice of law could wait until I found a great role. Right now, I need a job fast. We had gotten married two months prior and things were beyond tight.
Years passed and my career blossomed. By 2014, I began to feel restless in a corporate leadership role I loved but making websites for law firms wasn’t what I had in mind when I spent six figures on that law degree.
So I took my corporate background and moved into the midsize BigLaw world. I built departments and programs. I traveled regularly. I was in demand. My title and salary grew WAY beyond my wildest expectations. I was serving the practice of law and lawyers and was respected for my work.
This era of my career gave me so much joy and yet so much pain. The practice of law, as a profession, changes humans. It hardens. It brings out the cynic. It drowns, in alcohol and in ego. It entrenches viewpoints. It creates unrestrained anxiety. It emboldens the inappropriate with power and wealth.
It is a wild notion to consider how another attorney wakes up every morning with goals and ideas to outmaneuver, out research and outwork you to prove your client’s position wrong. It makes a fighter for fighting’s sake. It leads to unhealthy stress levels all around every firm and creates enormous compassion fatigue.
My work bringing business acumen to this cohort of battle worn was often a bruising battle. While there were champions of my work, there were also fierce opponents who had far more clout and power and often weaponized it for personal gain. Their goal to be absolved of any meaningful accountability to the financial success of the firm meant that I was someone who stood in their way of doing whatever they pleased.
The Pivot to Practice Law
So when I sought to rebuild myself and my work in 2020, it felt natural to hang my shingle and “practice law”. It was time to do what felt like making a genuine difference in this messed up, brutiful world.
And I believe I did. I secured recoveries on my clients’ behalf both as a solo and as a co-founding partner because that’s what the civil justice system has decided makes a person “whole.” The way I showed up and showed my heart to my clients mattered. It was good, important work.
But the whisper of the ills of the legal industry, systems and awful cycles embedded in it escalated to a shout. This work wasn’t for me. The practice of law falls abysmally short of obtaining any semblance of justice an aggrieved employee deserved. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t right. It didn’t feel right on the inside.
A New Era - Executive Unschool
I have seen enough from both sides of the practice - business operations and practice and now desire to carve a third path, with gratitude for what I learned the hard way. Gratitude for the people that taught me my most painful lessons. Gratitude for the few encouraging and kind humans who supported the entire span of my law journey. Gratitude for my growth along the way. And the rapid deconditioning from the work and the industry that was necessary for me.
And, it is time for me to bid the chapter adeiu. With my pivot to founding Executive Unschool, I release the practice of law and my attorney license along with it and take only my growth, my grief, and my gratitude for who I am now unbecoming after having such profound experiences.
I am a warrior at heart because of you.
